"Should I have a small wedding or elopement?" (Included: A free wedding guide for Joshua Tree National Park!)
What is an elopement?
If you’re planning a wedding, you’ve probably seen this word dozens of times, and in your head, you imagine a couple getting married at an Elvis chapel in Vegas, and then running away in an old 1965 Chevy Impala with lettering on the back saying “Just Married!”
While that’s not completely wrong, it’s also just scratching the surface of what an elopement could be.
If you haven’t read my previous blog post, The shift in the meaning of the term “elope” read that first, then come back to this post.
I want to let you in on a little secret…. Elopements are still your wedding day, no matter where it’s at, who’s there, and what you do. Let me say it louder for the people in the back, ELOPEMENTS ARE STILL YOUR WEDDING DAY.
Strip away all of the fluff and frills that make a traditional wedding notable, and you’re left with THE most beautiful part of a wedding that gets buried under the societal pressure and loads of money spent on decor.
An elopement is an intimate day of celebration that’s specifically and uniquely crafted to the couple’s values and beliefs as they commit their lives to one another.
So often I see vendors in the wedding industry saying “just elope! It’s so much easier. You can just grab a dress and a bouquet and go get married.”
I’m here to tell you that that’s all wrong and if I were to agree with them I would be doing you a disservice and also go against my own beliefs. This is your wedding DAY; not just a wedding moment. Getting married is a big deal and it’s a day that you will look back on every anniversary for the rest of your life. It’s not something you just go do one afternoon, it's something you look forward to, something that is true to you and your partner and represents all of your values, beliefs, and interests.
What are some reasons people elope?
So then you might be wondering, “why do people elope?” Let me tell you some of the many reasons why a couple might choose to elope:
They want to escape societal pressures that come with having a traditional wedding
The thought of a big, traditional wedding overwhelms them
They would rather spend their money towards something that’s more valuable to them
They don’t have a large family
They don’t have a good relationship with their family
They want their new adventure (marriage) to truly start with a new, big adventure.
They originally wanted a big wedding, but since covid, they’ve had a change of heart
Honestly, there are so many different situations and scenarios, you may find yourself resonating with two or three of these, or maybe none at all.
If eloping at a white chapel in Vegas has always been your dream, then DO IT, I’m cheering you on because you’re doing what you want to do. What I love so much about elopements, is that the possibilities are endless, and there’s no judgement or pressure around what you want to do.
What can my elopement day look like?
Let’s just imagine for a bit.
You go to your family cabin at the lake, and spend the day up there doing your favorite activities. You come back to the cabin, and get ready for the ceremony. Here’s the kicker, you rented a sail boat, and it’s been decorated with florals and twinkle lights. SO romantic. You sail out a ways until you find a spot you like, the sun is setting, and you exchange your vows. You end the evening sitting around the dinner table with your closest people, pop champagne, enjoy a campfire, and jam out to music.
If you’re really wanting to adventure, then imagine this.
You travel to a new country, for the heck of it, let’s just say you’re going to the Dolomites in Italy. You’re at one of the nearby hotels and you planned a few days full of activities. On your elopement day, you enjoy coffee and pastries on the balcony overlooking the mountain range. You head into separate rooms to get ready, and then make your way outside to a stunning first look location (yes, you can still do a first look on your elopement day!) After that, you hike up to a mountain peak and exchange your vows at the top. After a bit of exploring, you head back down to the lake nearby, rent a boat, and view the mountains by boat. You end the evening laying down for hours, watching the stars.
I’m telling you, you can make this however you want it to be; adventurous or chill, jam packed or relaxed, sightsee or stay local; you get to call the shots here.
Heck, if you want to stay in the US, meet me in California. There is a never-ending list of places to elope here. You’ve probably heard of this desert called Joshua tree, yeah? Well, I’ve gone ahead and created a full-day elopement guide for you that takes place at Joshua Tree National Park. Your day is already all planned out; it includes the airbnb you’ll stay at, the places you’ll dine at, and the place you’ll exchange your vows.
What are some FAQ’s about elopements:
How many hours should I hire a photographer for an elopement?
Well, since it’s an all day event, I’d recommend all day, roughly 8-10 hours. You might be thinking, wow that sounds like a lot of photos for an elopement. That’s when I come in and remind you that YOUR ELOPEMENT IS YOUR WEDDING DAY!
Think of all the events on a traditional wedding day. There’s getting ready, the first look, wedding party photos, family photos, the ceremony, the marriage license signing, the toasts, the feasts, the cake cutting, the dancing, and all the other traditions that are wrapped up into 10 hours. So many events, RIGHT?!
Your elopement day is no different. Every anniversary, this will be the day you’ll think back to, so don’t sell yourself short on all that it could be. You deserve to have all of the fun and exciting events of a traditional wedding day, and you deserve to have them documented!
Many photographers offer 2+ hour elopements, and like I said earlier, I just don’t believe that’s enough time to document all of the important moments in the day and to delivery a gallery that accurately represents how special your day was. Elopements are not just your vows and a fancy portrait session, it’s your wedding day. Treat it like the celebration it truly is and make sure someone is there to document it all, memories do fade after all and photographs are the only things that last forever.
How do I decide where to go?
Good questions! Before you start to imagine all of the incredible options out there in the world, think about what makes the most sense for your situation. Determine your budget, who you want to invite (if anyone at all), and whether or not your date is flexible. Then, talk about whether you want to stay local, hop on a plane, go to a familiar place or travel to a new spot. Once you have clarity on those things, you can start to research different locations that fit your criteria. I have loads of ideas as well, so use me as a resource to help you find the perfect location!
Average cost of an elopement?
Of course, there’s no one answer for this. It all depends on where you go, where you lodge, how long you stay, what you eat, what your activities are, who you hire, etc. Elopements can be $5,000 or they can be $25,000. The average wedding is $34,000, so if you’re looking to spend less than a down payment on a house for a wedding, then I’d recommend eloping or having a small wedding.
How many people can I bring?
Elopements can vary from 0-20ish people, it just depends on what you want! Ask yourself, “what’s a realistic number of people I can have that will keep the day intimate and keep the experience truly about myself and my partner?” Take this as your permission to go on and do what’s best for YOU.
Now, close your eyes, and imagine you and your partner exchanging your vows, who do you see?
Do I have to hike on my elopement?
Definitely not. I recommend hiking to find a private location, away from the crowds that flock to spectacular public lands. But I also firmly believe that if you're patient and diligent in your research, you can find the thing/place that checks all of your boxes, and doesn’t require too much walking. Plus, if you have a great team on your side, we can all work together to find the best location for you to exchange your vows.